Month: June 2013

In Praise of “Fathers”

joyouschild Faith Community

You know who are.

Or maybe you don’t…

You’re the one who took my boys to the movies for their birthdays.

You’re the one who hugged them on the day they were asking for it.

You’re the one who wrestled with them on the church floor.

You’re the one who talked sports with them and included them in fantasy leagues.

You’re the one who carried them around on your shoulders as if they were your own.

You’re the one who showed up at their games and cheered them on, and consoled them when they lost.

You’re the one who took them hunting, fishing, and four-wheeling.

You’re the one who taught them to use a mower, edger, trimmer, and weed eater.

You’re the one who prayed for them, asked about them, invested in them.

You’re the one who helped this tired momma with the raising-of-boys process.

I am not sure what life for us would have looked like if their dad was still here…but I am blessed beyond measure that you all were here to take of some of the man slack!

Well done, good and faithful servants!

Monitoring the Pressure

joyouschild Faithwalk, The Power of the Witness

I have had an ongoing battle with my tire pressure monitoring system on my car.

A couple years ago, one of the sensors got broken off when I purchased new tires.  Since then, the system has given me fits, telling me I have no pressure in a tire that is obviously just fine.  The system itself even registered it as fine just before it went haywire. 

This whole issue has led to frustration, to say the least.

Today, as sweet friend who owns a body shop told me something about tire pressure monitoring systems that I did not know. 

They are actually wireless gadgets and have to be activated to a particular computer system in a car.  Think of synching your IPod.  Because they synch this way, they can get thrown off if they are too close to another car when synched and then can be triggered by something other than your particular tire pressure.  Kind of foolish, if you ask me.

But I have to wonder…how often do I do the same thing?  Do I, by my actions or inactions, cause someone else to get off track, like my wayward tire pressure system?

I know it happens some days at home.  Keith used to say that I determined when I got up in the morning what kind of day we would all have by how the morning went.  Smooth morning, smooth day, and vice versa.  If we started out crummy, I had it in my head that it would be crummy all day…and then it became a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I think I have gotten a bit better about this…most days.  This single-parent world is just too crazy to get wrapped around the wheel about little things that happen.  As a result, I am better able to take a breath, put things in perspective, and move on. 

I still fail at times, though, letting my poor night’s sleep, my stresses of the day, or my failure to plan better for a calm day, take over and affect the way we operate as a family.  At those times, I am extremely thankful for grace.  Aren’t you?

My tire pressure monitor problem was finally solved today.  It was a bad sensor.  It has been replaced.  I only pray that I can as easily and completely replace my bad attitude and over-stimulated blood pressure to not give the wrong reading to those around me…especially my boys.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.
Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.

– Psalm 25:16-18

Beauty in Ashes

joyouschild Faithwalk

Today I went to the funeral for a dear friend’s husband.  It was beautiful and poignant; I teared up several times.  Something else made me tear up, however, a moment of joy among the sadness, beauty amidst the ashes.

When I came in, the sanctuary was filling up fast (this man was well-loved and well-known).  I saw a seat for myself past a gentleman.  As I walked up to the row if pews, I saw a walker parked at the end, between his row and the next.  As I asked the gentleman, about 10 years older than myself, if I could scoot in there, it became evident it was his walker.  When more people came to fill in the extra space, he graciously, but with evident effort, slid down closer to me to let the others into the row.

The service started and we stood for the first hymn.  He rose slowly, painfully, to his feet.  I reached over and gave him a hand up.  I did not want to step on his dignity, but did not want to see him struggle, either, when it was needless.  When we sat back down, he moved with slow deliberation, obviously intent on the effort and keeping his balance.

I must admit I became a bit protective of my pew buddy.  I helped him when I could, taking care not to hover.  I retrieved fallen glasses, gave him a hand with the up and down movements, and shared a hymnal.

The time came for communion, and people started going forward, coming across each row of pews to the front of the church, then around to the other side to come back to their seats, making one large circle.  I was concerned about this gentleman and how he would be able to move enough for people to slide past, and the pain that might cause him.

What happened next was truly lovely, a real testament to human kindness.

Each person, whether headed to the front or re-entering the pew, took the long way around, thus not disturbing him.  It was so kindly done, so automatically so, that I teared up with the sheer beauty of it.  No looks of irritation; no rolled eyes.  Just service to a fellow human being.  Not even knowing this man, I wanted to thank them on his behalf…thank them for being Christlike.

Now, I know nothing about this man.  I don’t know how long he has been this way, how hard it has been on his self-esteem, or even his name.  But I know that Christ was served by simple acts of kindness, and that was beautiful to see…and to be a part of.

How often do we miss the opportunities to show love to a fellow human being?  How often do I?

I have had so many times in my life when I have been helped by the kindness of a stranger.  It was joyous to return the favor.  I hope it was for the others as well.

Just as the service ended, he leaned in to me a bit and thanked me sincerely for my assistance.  I really felt no thanks were necessary, and demurred slightly.

My sweet friend’s husband was a man who helped, who gave to others, and was gracious, always to me, and to my kids as well.  What a fitting tribute that kindness happened as we celebrated his entry into glory.

I pray that I can always remember the difference a small bit of kindness makes.

The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” – Matthew 25:40

Dancing

joyouschild Doing it on My Own, Faithwalk, Widow Walk

My sweet husband was good at many things…but dancing was not one of them.

Even at his funeral, our dear sweet friend, the preacher who married us, talked about Keith’s inability to dance.

I always wished we could take a dancing class, but, alas, he wasn’t having any of it.  He did not care that he could not dance.

As we watched his muscle strength leave over the last couple months of his illness, the boys and I saw that he could barely stand and walk around, much less dance.  It was painful…for us and for him.

A day or two after Keith died, I remember Matthew, not quite six, saying, “Now, in Heaven, Daddy can dance!”

Ah, the simple words of a child!

Since Keith’s passing, I have done my own share of dancing.

Learning how to be a single mom and juggle all that I must juggle is tiring work at times.  I always had respect for single moms, and prayed for them, but now that I have become one, I realize that I had no idea what their lives were like.

Now, I run from schooling four boys, to laundry, to writing, to guitar lessons, to soccer, to church activities, to errands…on and on.

The dancing comes in when I can do these with grace and the love of Jesus in my every action.  Some days, I achieve my activities and dance; some days I do not.

Overall, though, it is about my attitude.  I may not have taken a dancing class with Keith, but I take a daily dancing class with my Bridegroom, learning to follow His lead…and to not step on His toes in how I go through this life.  Fortunately, He is a patient Partner and a consummate Teacher.

And my life is still a dance, not a drudge–even without Keith, even as hard as it is sometimes.

Praise God!

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

– Psalm 30:11-12

Amazing Grace

joyouschild Faithwalk, Grace Again and Again

It was the last straw.

It had been a crummy week:  forgotten and missed appointments, repairs to the eldest’s braces (again), planning a birthday party, cranky children and cranky momma.

When I found that I was out of shower gel, somehow that sent me right to the edge.

I couldn’t see how I would be able to get to the store to get more any time in the near future.

I was whiny about it.  Oh poor Liz! (extreme eye roll)

Then…God intervened.

My sweet friend Judi brought me a gift …of…you guessed it…shower gel!

How amazing that the God of the universe cares so much about little whiny me as to give me just what I needed just when I needed it.

But God was not done there.

Here is the shower gel she gave me:

DSC06631

Can you read the title of it?  Yep.  Amazing Grace shower gel.  There was a greater message here, and one I needed to hear even more.

Oh, Father!  How Your love soothes me!  In the midst of the turmoil, knowing I would be kicking myself for all the things that have fallen through the cracks, You gave me a message of hope and redemption to set me back on track.

While these troubles I faced this week are really, truly, light and momentary, there are always bigger struggles lurking around the corner, times and places for me to lose my focus and my way, times for me to strike out instead of wrapping in to the Lord.

I know I will remember this gift…from Judi and from God…while I still have the bottle of shower gel.  But I pray that I will remember it always, especially on the hard days.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Mirror, Mirror

joyouschild Faithwalk, Joy in the Journey, On the Inside

I miss the sweetness of a man who loved me just the way I am, warts (and c-section scars) and all!

I know I have the sweetness a Savior who feels that way…He has told me over and over!  In the Bible, He calls me beautiful and His bride.

But sometimes, in my human heart, it is hard to believe that.  I look in my mirror for answers to the inside of me and fail to find them…I find scars instead…and extra pounds…more grey hair…wrinkles.

It didn’t help when recently my almost-date did not pan out (not my fault…totally his readiness-to-date issues).  That “almost” hurts, though, makes me doubt myself, my desirability.

So how do I get back to the truth?  How do I stop believing the negative self-talk, the Liar who is speaking to me oh-so-convincingly in my ear?

It becomes a matter of trust.

I believe that God knows what I need better than I do.  I believe that He will be my Husband and my Best Friend in ways that even Keith could not.  While I cannot physically hug Him, at my darkest points, He sends a physical hug by way of a friend…or a small boy.  Praise Him for that!

But in the daily slogging through this life, I can only trust Him at His word…that He is who He says He is, and loves me like He says He loves me.

An old hymn says, “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.”

Did you catch that?  I cannot trust anyone else on this earth like I can trust Christ…not even Keith…and he would definitely fall into the “sweetest frame” category.

So…I will continue to look in the mirror, but will try to see Christ’s covering of blood rather than my failings…be they physical, emotional, or spiritual.  I will try to see me the way He sees me.  I know I will probably fail from time to time…but I know He will not.

It’s like my favorite scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Indy needs to take the leap from the lion’s mouth to find the grail.  He realizes that this is the ultimate test of faith, and prepares himself prior to the leap.  It works out for him…and a bridge appears out of nowhere to catch him and take him across to the grail.

My ultimate test of faith came nearly 5 years ago with the words, “Mrs. Wright, I’m afraid he didn’t make it.”

I choose now what I chose on that day.  No matter what, my hope is in the Lord.  He has never let me down…and He never will.  That is my grail.

And, even on the tough days, that knowledge is enough.

I am still confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  – Psalm 27:13-14