Okay, so I have been incredibly busy. You may have guessed that by the lack of posts.
Things have been crazy here, and, often, so have my responses. It seems the volume of our house has changed and everything occurs at a new volume in the last few weeks — and that volume is not softer. Just so we are clear.
What is the problem? I have wondered. What is going on with them, with me?
Then it dawned on me.
I remember being married to Keith and in some seasons I was with him, but not with him. We were near each other and working toward a common goal, but did not have the time or the energy to just be together. Too often, due to the busy-ness of life, we had what my sister calls task talk only, and not lover talk (that intimate talk that was not about the words but about the blending of spirits, the openness between us). I have to admit, mostly it meant that I dropped my agenda and listened to him instead of just pushing on.
Now, in this life I lead, God is my Husband (and so much more, but that will be for another post).
Unfortunately, I am guilty of the same thing in this relationship — doing mostly good, God-honoring stuff, pushing along to what I see as His goals for me and for the family — but not spending that intimate time with the Lover of my soul. Oh, sure, I am reading my Bible and doing my Bible study work, but I see that as becoming more like task talk than lover talk.
I am an overworked mom (can anyone relate?) who spends more time dealing with broken feet and dog throw up and dirty socks and grading papers than I do basking in the love of my Savior!
Revelation made. Now how to solve.
Cheap quote from The Princess Bride: “I am waiting for you Vizzini! You told me to go back to the beginning, so I have. This is where I am, and this is where I’ll stay. I will not be moved.” – Inigo Montoya
That really is the answer, though. Go back to the beginning. When do I feel closest to God? When do I listen best to Him? Probably for me, the answer is in writing and prayer — which often occurs simultaneously.
So, that is the goal. To be still more to know that He is God, and to rest in His arms, having lover talk with Him whenever, however possible. It is crucial to my life, as the last few weeks have indicated.
Watch and pray with me that I can find quiet time in Him, and thereby find peace in me.
You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. — Revelation 2:3-5a